a rose by any other name

Today I went to the Social Security office and applied to change my name. I am dropping my middle name entirely, adopting my maiden name as a middle name, and taking Dave's surname as my own. This was a much harder decision than I had anticipated. Every woman in my extended family has taken her husband's last name, regardless of professional accomplishments or age at marriage. I had never really thought it was a big deal.

But as Dave and I prepared to marry, it did become a big deal! It's not that I'm so advanced in my career (ha), or that I feel dominated by male hegemony (my maiden name being my father's, after all). It's just that, my name has been my name for so long. And I (duh) identified by it. And I liked it. And I had nicknames associated with it. And I met people from other cultures that don't apply this practice – like all of China. Isn't it kind of weird to change your name in the middle of your life? My parents gave me the combination of my first, middle, and last names on purpose; isn't it strange to override that later?

Yet there were reasons to change now, too. We hope someday to have children, and it would be far more convenient for our family to share one name. I haven't published anything and I'm about to start a new job, so at the moment I have the opportunity for a fresh start. And it is, I admit, compelling to share a single name with my husband – it shows we're really a team now!

So, reluctantly, I filled out my forms and started the process. It shouldn't be a hard transition – my new last name rhymes with my old name, and I'm not losing my old name entirely. I guess it's time to practice that new signature...