WE DID IT!

On Sunday, 26 May 2013, Dave and I got married! I'm writing now from Cape May, New Jersey, where we have retreated to relax, decompress, and try to wrap our minds around what just happened. More to come later – we're off for an historic trolley tour now!

the Wilds

On our way to the east coast to prepare for the wedding, Dave and I made a stop in Ohio, at the Wilds! It's a 10,000 acre conservation/wildlife area, reclaimed from an old strip mining site in rural eastern Ohio. They specialize in facilitating captive breeding of species that are extinct in the wild. Exciting and important stuff. Dave and I love the zoo, so this was a perfect place to celebrate Dave's, how shall we say, "milestone" birthday!

Upon our arrival, we took a 2.5-hour safari bus tour. Our guide, Lee, was either really bored of giving this tour, or maybe high.

Our favorite animal that we saw was the Szechuan Takin:

What a ridiculous-looking animal! Lee said that he looks like a creature out of a Dr. Seuss book. I think that he looks more like Acheloos, the river god defeated by Heracles in a contest over Deianeira. He is often depicted as a large-horned bull with the face of a man:

Heracles broke off one of his horns in the fight, which became the horn of plenty symbol. Okay, end of mythological excursus. We spent the night in a yurt! It was our first experience with "glamping" – glamorous camping, of course! I've stayed in a yurt before, but it wasn't very glamorous. In fact, it was at a national park in Uganda, and there was neither electricity nor running water on the site. So this was a big upgrade:

The view was really stunning. I don't know how much money it took to go from strip mine to this, but I think it was worth it:

Those of us who were spending the night at the park ate dinner in the same dining room. The couple next to us were celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary! And next to them was another couple, celebrating their 54th anniversary. Dave asked them for advice, which I dutifully share here:

• "If it's not really bad, don't say anything."
• "Yeah, keep your mouth shut!"
• "It's easier to leave than to stay and work it out. But it's worth it."

The next morning, we took the Wildside Tour. It ended up being a private tour of the site by pickup truck with an animal management expert. Since we didn't have to stick to the main roads, we were able to get much closer to the animals. We fed Mickey the Giraffe:

And pet Gobi the Bactrian Camel:

And drew near to cheetahs and Przewalski's horses and rhinos:

It wasn't cheap, but compared to, I don't know, dropping 12 grand on a real safari in Tanzania, I'd say it was pretty affordable! We'd love to go back sometime and see what new things are going on there. Maybe an anniversary trip?? ;)

local "landmarks"

Since I returned from New York/Philly on Sunday night, I've been occupied with moving from my apartment into Dave's place. It's just across town, and I have a car, so I've been able to make many trips with my trusty Camry. But once I live in Dave's (our!) place, I won't be running on the same paths anymore. Here are two of my favorite "landmarks" on my route to the Huron River:

 

I've never understood what this sign means: "Hippies Use Backdoor: No Exceptions." Is this supposed to be insulting to hippies? Or is it positive, that some secret exchange can occur at the backdoor that only hippies have access to?

I will also miss being close to this banana stand (if that is, indeed, what it is). It's out there year-round, but I've never seen anyone manning it. This seems as good a time as any for an Arrested Development gif:

new beginnings on the horizon

Last week, I traveled to NYC to begin getting oriented in my new job. It was a real eye-opener! I think I was very naïve when I accepted the position, and now I have a much better sense for what the real demands of the job will be. In short, I felt extremely stressed and totally overwhelmed. How can I possibly manage the administrative workload alongside the obligations to develop new courses for my own teaching portfolio and publish, publish, publish?

I don't have any answers, and I think how I learn the answer to that question will very much govern my experience over the next three to four years. A few important things I already know: I will need to learn how to handle a stressful job without bringing it home, without allowing it to make me unhappy or worried all the time. I will need to learn how to set shorter term, more manageable goals – baby steps, if you will. I will need to learn how to use the resources at my disposal to be a more effective leader and to trust others to help me with the work. And I will need to learn to be brave.

As overwhelmed and torn as I felt last week, it was not all doom and gloom. Campus was looking beautiful in the spring sunshine:

This building is my department's home. Sure, it looks stately from the outside, but on the inside, it sort of looks like a cross between a high school and an asylum. Ah well.

I stayed with my lovely friend Benet and got a little taste of Brooklyn life – running in Prospect Park, watching hipsters on the L, trying in vain to find a U.S. Mailbox. More to come, I'm sure – I'm mulling a new blog, one for my post-bridal life!

Graduation

I finally did it! After seven years of school, I walked in my graduation, way back on May 3rd. I was surprised by how emotional I felt. In my department, graduation is generally pooh-poohed. Although four people in Archaeology walked, I was the only representative from Classical Studies. Here I am freshly hooded and diploma-ed:

I got to shake hands with President Mary Sue Coleman, my first time meeting her!

The last person to receive a degree was this elderly man who needed help getting out of his seat, up the ramp, and across the stage. He received a PhD in Chemistry, a standing ovation from the audience, and a bear hug from Mary Sue (zeugma, anyone?). I don't know what his story is, but I felt so moved. In my department, if we had to fill in the blank in the phrase "my ___________ PhD," we would all pick the same modifier, "my worthless PhD." It's almost as consistent a pairing as "hardy mums." And yet here was an old man who clearly DID think there was worth to his degree, and never gave up until he achieved it!

The whole Lu clan came to town to celebrate:

 

Proud parents

 

Big brothers

New additions

 Where I get my "famous" sense of humor

The one who dries my PhD-induced tears

We had gorgeous weather the whole weekend! We visited nearby Chelsea, shared dinner with my advisors, played in the park, and walked around town. It was actually really nice to mark the close of these years, my life in Michigan, and my formal education (let's hope!).

Brilliant Earth, reviewed (spoiler alert: I'm mad)

You know what else gets two thumbs down? Brilliant Earth, a jewelry purveyor that specializes in conflict-free Canadian diamonds. I was excited to find exactly the wedding band I had imagined on their website, the Whisper Diamond Platinum ring. I also found almost exactly the same ring on Blue Nile, their Petite Cathedral Pave Diamond ring. They're both 1.6 mm wide, but the ring from Brilliant Earth has three more gemstones, larger carat total weight, and costs less! What could possibly go wrong?? I ordered both, as the wedding day draws nigh and I hadn't seen either in person.

Both rings are sparkly on top and platinum on the bottom. Both rings are quite thin. And yet...the Brilliant Earth ring is not even close to being the same size as the Blue Nile ring!

The Blue Nile ring is on the left; the Brilliant Earth ring is on the right.

The Blue Nile ring is closer to my hand; the Brilliant Earth ring is closer to my fingertip.

A comparison against a ruler reveals that the Brilliant Earth ring is barely 1 mm, if that. When I called customer service, a young woman put me on hold to consult her colleague, and when she returned, she informed me that the ring is, indeed, 1.6 mm as advertised. Except that it's not. 

How strange, then, to discover that the Brilliant Earth website was updated in the few hours between our phone call and Dave's email to customer service! I bet when you visit the link to the ring above, the website will tell you it's 1.3 mm! But don't worry, I've screen-capped the earlier advertisement of 1.6 mm that fooled us. I can't tell whether I'm more pleased at the prompt, more honest update of their site, or annoyed that they haven't updated the rest of the ring's statistics – I believe that the carat total weight must also be revised down, given the even tinier width of the diamonds. So much for your "ethics," Brilliant Earth! I know that all of this isn't the end of the world; we're returning the ring and getting a refund. But this episode reminds me of how much I've come to trust online shopping: I expect that the ring on a website really is the width advertised, or really does contain the weight of diamond promised. It's not Ebay or Craiglist; this is supposed to be a somewhat reputable company! Could we have imagined ten years ago that we would have such high expectations for the trustworthiness of basic online shopping?