Byzantine fun

If you know me well, you've probably heard my rant at least once about how much I resent the pejorative connotations of the term "Byzantine." Don't people know? Byzantium was awesome. So of course I couldn't stay away from the Metropolitan Museum of Art's current exhibit, "Byzantium and Islam: Age of Transition," especially after this intriguing review.

My academic interest in Byzantium runs more towards the early side of the Empire, closer to what could be called "Late Antiquity," so I was excited to see a stronger representation of objects from the 6th c. AD. And there were some really amazing artifacts from parts of the world that I may never visit: delicate silks, precious chalices, and my personal favorite, purple-dyed parchment written on with gold ink! I even spotted a few papyri from the University of Michigan collection, which made me feel right at home. =)

But beyond offering the eye candy, the show provided a lot of food for thought about Christian subcultures. Think of how many Christian subcultures exist today in the United States – e.g., liberal WASPs, black Pentecostals, prosperous white evangelicals, rural and poor white evangelicals, Irish/Italian Catholics, Korean Presbyterians, Latino Catholics, etc. etc. And this is just in the development of one "culture" over the past three hundred years! Now imagine that you have seven hundred years to work with, and a geographic spread that encompasses North Africa and Egypt, Greece, Turkey, AND the Near East. The proliferation of Christian identities in that period was so fascinating – important doctrinal issues were still being hammered out in various councils, and the cultural contact with Judaism and Islam was intense. Even though most Christians in America have inherited church traditions based more fully in the West, it's pretty exciting to think about how broad and diverse the Church has always been.

Off to a good start

I've been in New York for less than 24 hours, but so far, it's been great! I've actually been having a lot of mixed feelings these past few days about coming to teach at the Institute this year; I feel anxious with all the other business I ought to be attending to (see June goals post below), and I also find it increasingly difficult to be away from D. It didn't help that when I came briefly to NYC on Monday to drop off the bulk of my stuff in the place I'm subletting, I discovered that the bedroom I'm renting in Hell's Kitchen is tiny and dark, and in a filthy apartment.

That sublet doesn't actually start until Friday (provided that the annoyingly flaky girl who lives there actually remembers our appointment to give me the keys), so in the meantime, I'm staying with my lovely friend, Benet. Work started today, and I was reminded of how much I really love the Institute. I felt genuine joy at seeing my boss and colleagues again and, even though it's been a year since we've taught together, we picked right up where we left off! The Institute really is a special place: how many times in your life have you felt enormous respect for all of your co-workers? or thought that you share a common set of values and standards? I love the Institute because it's a place where an extremely high standard of excellence is set for both students and faculty. For so much of the year, I can get away with doing work that's a little shoddy around the edges, partly-formed, or frankly half-assed. Not here! It's a privilege to work at a place that challenges me and keeps me on my toes. It's my tiny oasis of order in a chaotic world. ;)

Okay, I'm writing these thoughts down so that when I'm exhausted and dreaming in Greek in a few weeks, I'll remember why I do it. =)

The rest of my day was also a pleasure: a Shake Shack burger to soothe the stresses of Times Square, and rush tickets to a fantastic show! I can't recommend enough the play I saw tonight, Peter and the Starcatcher. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a live performance so wholeheartedly. My interest was piqued by Ben Brantley's NYT review from a little while ago – he's never so positive! And his judgment proved correct: the play was whimsical, clever, hilarious, touching, and well-acted with inventive production. There were two little girls sitting in front of me and Benet, and they were CRACKING UP at all the jokes and imitating them immediately to each other. We were laughing too! Now that is effective comedy. I won't bore you with more descriptors; if you're in NYC anytime soon, snap up some tickets at the TKTS booth and go!

"Leave it alone" vs. "always room for improvement"

Julie is such a good reader and friend – not only did she remember my blog entry about enjoying advice from long-married couples, she also emailed me this perfectly relevant column by Colbert King of the Washington Post! In it, he offers marriage advice based on 50 years of marriage.

He argues for an approach of benign neglect:

For those still curious about how we managed to last all these years, I offer this advice: Once the knot is tied, leave it alone.

Marriage is like baking bread, roasting a chicken or whipping up a dessert. Once it’s prepped, and starts cooking, no testing, tasting or stirring. Don’t poke or flip it once it’s on the grill. When it’s done, let it rest.

Too many folks get married, only to end up worrying their marriages to death.

I don't want to worry anything to death! (But for the record, doesn't cooking usually require some testing, tasting, stirring, and flipping?? Maybe I'm just an anxious cook, as well.) King sounds peaceful and secure...pretty appealing, no?

But King's argument stands in direct contrast to today's "always room for improvement" marital culture, which, as far as I can tell, pervades at least the NYT's Style Section. Case in point: Elizabeth Weil's NYT Magazine 2009 cover story on marriage improvement, which itself was a teaser for her recently published book (which I have not read). Here's the premise for her endeavor, which apparently involved reading various marriage-advice books, attending marriage-improvement classes and therapy, and having new kinds of fights with her husband.

And as I lay there, I started wondering why I wasn’t applying myself to the project of being a spouse. My marriage was good, utterly central to my existence, yet in no other important aspect of my life was I so laissez-faire. Like most of my peers, I applied myself to school, friendship, work, health and, ad nauseam, raising my children. But in this critical area, marriage, we had all turned away. I wanted to understand why. I wanted not to accept this.

There's been plenty of discussion about Weil's book by people more articulate than I, and this is just a quick blog post. Bottom line: she sounds insane, and really bad at constructing an experiment. And also...far too relatable? Because I too am Type-A, love projects, enjoy research, and am generally anxious about my relationships. Furthermore: let's just say, for the sake of the argument, that I turn out to be "less successful" in my academic career than I had hoped. Let's say that I decide it's not worth pursuing this career through years of frequent moving, temporary positions, low remuneration, and constant uncertainty, and decide to leave the field. This may enable me to find a line of work with greater security, actually live with D. in the same house, and/or start a family! But can I envision myself coming to view my marriage as "a project," perhaps in compensation for all the, I don't know, Classics articles I thought I'd be writing? [Euripides' Helen re-enacts the Trojan War! You heard it here first!] Um, yes.

Ultimately, at least as of today, Weil did not in fact worry her marriage to death. After all of that "work," she came to the following, non-earth-shattering conclusion:

...the “good-enough marriage” is characterized by its capacity to allow spouses to keep growing, to afford them the strength and bravery required to face the world.

I agree, but question whether she needed to go through (and put her husband through) all of that hullabaloo to understand this.

So, which approach do you think works best? Is this a case of "to each his own"? Some couples will be more successful by letting things be; others will thrive with conscientious effort. I usually fall back on two platitudes: every couple is different, and the truth likely lies somewhere in the middle. But if this is where I inevitably end up after attempting to evaluate diametrically-opposed ideologies, is it possible that this whole effort to glean wisdom from other couples is not so meaningful after all?

Bright Lights of the City + June goals

Sending off my draft of Chapter 3 was the last task I needed to accomplish before I leave tomorrow morning for four weeks in New York City. (Well, I just started cleaning and packing for the month, but somehow that always gets done.) As much as I increasingly loathe any time away from D., I do look forward to my annual stint in the city. I love the teaching, opportunities to eat well and see museums, and of course, spend time with my East Coast family and friends.

I'm glad I've taught at this program before, and am therefore less anxious, because this summer will be especially busy! Here is my list of goals for the next month:

June goals:

Wedding-related:
Pick a date / find a venue and a church.
Use venue to help determine visual style/colors of the wedding. Rustic farmhouse? Elegant ballroom? Late spring or height of summer?

Dissertation-related:
Keep working on German.
Read Stesichorus, Pindar, and Pseudo-Scylax (what an "author"!).
Review my current chapters, start formulating larger arc of argument for intro/conclusion.

Job search-related:
Write a 1-2 page teaching philosophy.
Develop a syllabus for a Heracles-themed seminar and intermediate/upper-level Latin and Greek classes.

New York-related:
See my friends!
Visit the major/my favorite museums once (Met, Guggenheim, MoMA, Morgan Library).
See a show.
Oh yeah, and teach an extremely intense, 24-7 language class.

AND, while I'm in the Philadelphia area, play with my baby niece, the Florette!

Okay, even I have to admit that this is kind of an ambitious list. I will have to prioritize, and some things just won't get done. I already know one thing that won't happen: "Keep working on German." Who am I kidding? But I will leave it on the list as a little guilt-inducing reminder to myself that I still haven't read the German books on my bibliography from last summer. I'm sure I'll be embarrassed by the number of things I haven't accomplished on July 1st, but I may as well set the bar high!

Chapter 3 draft: goodbye!

I am pleased to report that I have drafted and sent off to my advisors the third chapter of my dissertation! It clocks in at 53 pages (ugh, it's such a bad mixed metaphor, but I can't resist), which is a bit longer than I expected. I had hoped to submit this chapter by May 18th, but I think running only one week late is pretty good, considering D. and I got engaged in the interim. =) I'm hopeful I'll get useful feedback, but at least I don't have to be too worried: I showed my committee chair a précis of the argument four weeks ago, and she already approved it. Phew, one more thing I can check off the list!

THE RING

Any going-to-be-married woman (ugh, a future participle in Latin would be so much more efficient: sponsura) with a sparkly engagement ring is excited to show it off! I've been sad that so many of my friends and family live far away. Somehow, cell phone pictures and my laptop's webcam can't capture it properly!

Fortunately, the lovely local jewelers who made the ring liked it so much that they took professional pictures of it (for their website). And when D. and I stopped by yesterday for a ring tune-up, they agreed to share some photos with us. Thank you, Abracadabra Jewelry! Without further ado:

D. did such a great job designing it! I had said that I wanted a ring with "some movement," and the four-prong twist setting gives just the right amount of elegant fluidity to a classic solitaire. And after yesterday's cleaning, my ring is just as shiny as ever! It had lost a bit of its sparkle last week, after I had used it to stab a falling banana.

Food, food, glorious food!

I've been pretty overwhelmed by the proposed Wedding Menus at reception sites in New Jersey. They seem to offer an ENORMOUS amount of food! Don't get me wrong: I love a good meal at a wedding, and leaving a wedding hungry is pretty much the worst – basically guarantees an epic fight in the car ride home. And it's important to be hospitable! Your guests are coming a long distance to celebrate your nuptials. They have loved you and supported you for most of your life. Give 'em a nice piece of meat and a glass of wine!

BUT! BUT! Is this a reasonable set up? Check out the following menu, which was emailed to me this morning. It is expensive! And this is all included, so I can't cut down the menu to make it cheaper. The first section is food served during cocktail hour; starting with "Soups," you have the sit-down dinner menu.

Butlered Hors D’Oeuvres

......................................................................................................................

Cocktail Franks

Potato Samosa

Baby Lamb Chops

Broccoli Cheese Puffs

Spanakopita

Bruschetta

Pork Dumplings

Coconut Shrimp

Pot Stickers

Sesame Chicken

Chicken Cordon Bleu

Coconut Chicken

Chicken Tenders

Mushroom Stuffed with Crabmeat

Shrimp Cocktail

Buffalo Shrimp

Scallops Wrapped in Bacon

Shrimp Parmesan

Assorted Quiche

Beef Brochette

Spicy Beef Thai Money Bags

Seafood Strudel

Crab Wontons

Thai Chicken Burrito

Crab Mac & Cheese

Vegetable Quesadillas

Chicken Cheesesteak Spring Rolls

Vegetable Spring Roll

Lobster Puff

Asparagus Prosciutto Wrap

Lemon Spice Chicken Prosciutto Wrap

Boursin Cheese Tart

The Merion Themed Stations

PASTA STATION (Included)

(ATTENDED)

Please select (2) from the following

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

Gemelli Folanari: Tossed with prosciutto in a light pesto Cream

Ravioli Bastini: Spinach Ravioli with garlic sage sauce

Penne ala Pollo: Tossed in blush Alfredo with grilled chicken and broccoli

Tri Colored Gemelli Primavera: Assorted bountiful garden vegetables tossed in light garlic alfredo sauce

Pasta Genovese: Bowtie Pasta tossed in a light garlic sauce with baby shrimp and sun dry tomatoes

Penne Tuscan: served with homemade mozzarella, grilled chicken marinara sauce

Gemelli Bolognese: Bolognese meat sauce and served with side of ricotta cheese

Rigatoni Aribiata: Tossed in a light spicy marinara and prosciutto

Penne ala Voula: Vodka blush sauce with peas, & crispy prosciutto

Carbonara: Rigatoni in Alfredo Sauce with peas & pancetta

PAN ASIAN STATION (Included)

(ATTENDED)

Please select (1) from the following

………………………………………………………………………………………………

General Tso’s chicken, BBQ Pork Lo Mein, Spicy Orange Crispy Beef, Shrimp Szechuan

Includes: Housin Duck, Beyo Buns, Assorted Dim Sum, Thai lettuce wraps  

TOSCANO TABLE STATION (Included)

……………………………………………………………………………………………....

Parmesan Asparagus Tips

Home-Made Fresh Mozzarella

Marinated Wild Mushrooms

Yellow and Vine Ripe Tomatoes

Soppersata

Roasted Pepper Caponata

Grilled Vegetables

San Danielle Prosciutto

Focaccia Bread

Parmesan Reggiano

Whole Asaigo

Aged Provolone

Honey Dew Melon Wrapped in Prosciutto

Hot Roasted Italian Peppers

Mediterranean Olives

White Cannelloni Bean Salad

FILET TIP BOURGAOUN/ MASHED POTATO BAR/ POTATO SKINS (INCLUDED)

(ATTENDED)

……………………………………………………………………………………………..................

Potato Skins, Chive mashed potato.  Accompanied with sour crème, chives, red onion, mushrooms, bacon, broccoli, mozzarella/cheddar cheese and filet tip bourguignon gravy

RAVIOLI, RISOTTO, AND VEAL OSSO BUCCO STATION

(ATTENDED)

Please select (2) from the following

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………....

Cheese Ravioli, Spinach Ravioli, Lobster Ravioli

Wild Mushroom Risotto with Truffle Butter

Pescatore Risotto

MEDITERRANEAN STATION

(ATTENDED)

Please select (1) from the following

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

                                                       Lamb Gyro       ~         Whole Roasted Lamb

(Gyro meat cooked on a flat top grill)

Accompanied with , stuffed grape leaves, Tzaziki Cucumber Sauce, Hummus, Feta Cheese, Pita Bread, babaganoush, Kalamata Olives

Halloumi Cheese Breaded and Flambéed with Brandy.

CAVIAR /BLINI/ POTATO LATKES STATION

(ATTENDED)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Buckwheat Blinis (Mini-Russian Pancakes) and Potato Latkes (Potato Pancakes)

Served with Red, Black and Gold Caviar, Crème Fraiche, Chives, Diced Red Onions and Apple Sauce 

Beluga or Stergen Caviar: additional coast

SMOKED FISH STATION

(ATTENDED)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Sliced Smoked Salmon and White Fish Salad

Poached Whole Salmon with cold Dill Sauce

Sliced Pastrami Salmon

All accompanied with chopped onions, whole capers, sliced egg, grape tomatoes, pumpernickel squares, and mini bagels

SOUTHWESTERN STATION

(ATTENDED)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Chicken ~ or ~ Beef Fajitas

Served with Grilled Red & Green Bell Peppers, Sautéed Onions, Diced Tomatoes, Jalapenos, Grated Cheddar & Monterey Jack Cheese, Salsa, Guacamole, Sour Cream, and Soft Flour Tortillas

Accompanied by Ground Beef, White Corn Tortilla Chips, Warm Cheddar Cheese Sauce

STREET VENDORS

(ATTENDED)

Select (3) from the following

......................................................................................................................

Select (1) from the following:

Italian Hot Dog Cart ~ Traditional Ball Park Cart

Grilled Cheese Steaks

Select (2) from the following:

Roasted Pork accompanied by Long Hots

BBQ pulled Pork Sandwich                     Mini Hamburgers on Homemade Potato Kaiser Rolls

Hand Rolled Assorted Stromboli           Sausage Peppers and Onions                  Meatball Sandwiches

STEAKHOUSE STATION

(ATTENDED)

Select (1) from the following

......................................................................................................................

Select (1) from the following:

Flank Steak ~ NY Strip Steak~ Angus Prime Rib~Steak Au Poive

Accompanied with the following:

Scalloped Potatoes, Creamed Spinach, Onion Rings

GROOMS STATION

(ATTENDED)

Select (3) from the following

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Mamma’s Meatloaf~Boneless Buffalo Wings~Jack Daniels Fried Shrimp

Brats simmered in Beer& Onions~Roast Beef& Cheddar served on an Onion Roll

Meatball Parmesan Subs~Boneless BBQ Ribs~Steamed Clams~ Taco Bar

INCLUDES: Ice Sculpture of Favorite Sports Team Logo& Mini Draft Beer Keg

Soups

*Additional charge

Choice of (1)

......................................................................................................................

Chicken Orzo

Italian Wedding

Tuscan Minestrone

Matzo Ball Soup

Escarole and Bean

*Tomato Crab Bisque

*Lobster Bisque

Cream of Chicken

Cream of Wild Mushroom

Potato Leek

    Salads

Choice of (1)

......................................................................................................................

Rock Shrimp Salad (Seasonal: Additional Cost)

Oil Poached Rock Shrimp, Candied Walnuts and Crumbled Bleu Cheese over Mixed Greens

Arugula Salad

Baby Arugula, Cherry tomatoes, White Onion, Shaved Parmesan, Sea Salt finished with Extra Virgin Olive Oil and Red Vinegar

Merion Salad

Assorted Greens, Mandarin Oranges, Sliced Almonds, Feta Cheese Tossed with a creamy white Balsamic

Greek

Romaine, Mixed Greens, Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Kalamata Olives, Shaved Red Onion, and Feta with Greek Vinaigrette

Caesar

Romaine with Lemon Parmesan Croutons

Mista

Mixed greens, grape tomatoes, shredded carrots.

Chicken Entrees

CHICKEN ENTREES

Choice of (1)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Oscar

Pan Seared Chicken Breast topped with Lump Crabmeat, Asparagus, finished with a Lemon Buerre Blanc

Cardinale

        French Cut Chicken Breast stuffed with Crab, Shrimp, Pan Roasted served with Brandy Shrimp Sauce

Gardenier

French Cut Chicken Breast Stuffed with Grilled Vegetables, Boursin Cheese, Pan Roasted and served with Lemon Pesto Buerre Blanc

Athenian

French Cut Chicken Breast Marinated and Char grilled topped with Feta and

White Wine Lemon Thyme Juslie, Paired with Spinach and Tomato Orzo 

Champagne Chicken

French Cut Chicken Breast stuffed with Spinach, Mushroom, Prosciutto and Boursin Cheese

Pan Roasted and served with Champagne Honey Buerre Blanc

Meat Entrees

* Additional Cost

MEAT ENTREES

Choice of (1)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………....

Prime Rib Served

With Horseradish ~OR~ Au Jus

Chateau Briand

      The Classic Sliced Filet of choice Beef Tenderloin served with sauce of choice

Pork Loin Chop

Stuffed with shitake mushrooms, spinach, roasted red peppers topped with apple Madera demi glaze

Grilled Rib Eye Steak

Marinated and Grilled to Perfection and Finished with Merlot demi glaze

*Grilled Filet Mignon

With Sautéed Wild Mushrooms and Bordelaise Sauce or Roasted Shallot Port Wine demi Glaze

*Grilled Filet Mignon

Topped with Jumbo Lump Crabmeat, Baby Asparagus Tips, Home-Made Mozzarella and Merlot demi glaze

*Veal Chop

     Marinated and grilled, served with roasted potatoes, broccoli rabe, and wrapped lemon wedge topped with a Marsala demi glaze

*The Merion Surf & Turf

Roasted Filet Mignon With A slow roasted cold water Lobster tail

Fish Entrees

* Additional cost

FISH ENTREES

Choice of (1)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Salmon Choron

Topped with Baby Spinach, Roasted Peppers, and Gruyere Cheese finished with Sauce Choron

Salmon Mandarin

         Mandarin Orange Teriyaki Glazed Served with Pickled Ginger Rice and Braised Baby Bochoy

Salmon Bruschetta

Salmon Topped with Chopped Tomatoes and Basil then Drizzled with Balsamic Reduction Served over a Bed of Spinach

Tilapia Oreganato

Pan Fried with Roma Tomatoes Baked with Oregano, Breadcrumbs, and Lemon Infused Olive Oil

Barramundi

         Grilled and Topped with Tomato Fennel Provancale over Basil Risotto

Flounder

Stuffed with Crabmeat in White Wine Lemon Beurre Blanc

*Chilean Sea Bass Buerre Blanc

Chilean Sea Bass finished with a Lemon Buerre Blanc Sauce

*Maryland Crab Cakes

With Jumbo Lump Crab Meat, Topped with Meyer lemon roasted garlic aioli

*Halibut

Pan Seared, with poached clams, grilled shrimp, served with saffron risotto and topped with a roasted fennel shrimp broth

*St. Regis

Pan Seared Chilean Sea Bass served with clams, grilled shrimp, chorizo sausage, roasted potato topped with a smoked tomato broth

Dessert Buffet Stations

Freshly Brewed Coffee, Decaffeinated Coffee and a Selection of Teas Included

BUTLERED DESSERT

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Miniature peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, assortment of warm homemade cookies, presented with ice cold milk shots

VIENNESE TABLE

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

White & Dark Chocolate Mousse

Individual Tiramisu

Lemon or Grand Marnier Mousse

Cream Puffs Dipped In Chocolate

Éclair’s ~ Chocolate, Vanilla, Coffee

Napoleons ~ Vanilla, Chocolate

Miniature French Pastries

Individual Ricotta Cheese Cake Pies

Belgium Chocolate Torte

Crème Brule

CREPE and FLAMBE STATION

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Orange & Grand Marnier Sauce Drizzled on Chocolate & Banana Filled Crepes, Sprinkled with Vanilla Sugar; Bananas Foster and Cherries Jubilee Combined with Vanilla Ice Cream

BELGIAN WAFFLE AND ICE CREAM SUNDAE STATION

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Assorted Flavors of Ice Creams with Hot Fudge, Toasted Walnuts, & Other Assorted Toppings Served on Fresh Belgian Waffles

CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Warm Dark Chocolate with Skewers of:

Fresh Fruit, Strawberries, Pineapple, Marshmallows, Pretzels, and Rice Crispy Treats

INTERNATIONAL COFFEE BAR

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Served at the Bar

Freshly Brewed Coffee, Cappuccino, and Espresso Served with:

Whip Cream, Chocolate Shavings, Cinnamon Sticks, and Raw Sugar

Bailey’s Irish Cream, Kahlua, and Amaretto, Godiva, Tia Maria, Sambuca

CHEESECAKE MARTINI BAR

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Homemade cheesecake served in elegant martini glasses, served with an assortment of

toppings to include: blueberries, strawberries, fresh whipped cream, and cherries

WEDDING CAKE DISPLAY

......................................................................................................................

Wedding Cake is cut and served at your dessert hour

BREAKFAST BAR

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Warm Cinnamon French toast and Chef’s crepes

Ummm...

Do my guests really need to eat a full dinner at the TWELVE stations plus butlered hors d'oeuvres during cocktail hour? BEFORE sitting down for a three-course dinner? BEFORE eating the cake + dessert buffet? I can just see myself CRYING over every entree being sent back to the kitchen, untouched, because people have already gotten so full! I mean, I'm glad that my ice sculpture of a favorite sports team logo is covered, but really! "It's top dollar, but it's the best! You won't have to worry about a thing!" Except figuring out a way to sneak all those leftovers home! All of these places talk about how "customized" your wedding will be, but is it really customized if you can only add, and not subtract?? Geez louise.

Okay, break from ranting to write another page of my chapter. Go go go!

Wow, no wonder it's so expensive!

You know what I hate? Typos! Unless they are hilarious. Like this one, from the website of a wedding venue in South Jersey:

The owner Joe Abate personally acts as the Mater Dei for every wedding, making sure everything runs smoothly.

Well, with the Blessed Virgin by my side, I'm pretty sure my wedding will be pretty smooth! I can't stop laughing about this. At least I'd know that the venue is run by former Catholic schoolchildren?

Truth from the wedding industry

You can expect that I'll have plenty of rants about lies that the wedding industry will be feeding me over the next few months. Most perfect day of your life, blah blah, you're so unique and special, blah blah. But here's a quote I noticed in a wedding photography book:

"A bride will have the tiniest waist of her entire lifetime."

True? If Spanx's sudden appeal to me is any indication, #weddingindustrytruth!

Fact.

Reading wedding literature is a real hoot, when it's not completely enraging. Today's tidbit of wisdom made me laugh:

From a wedding venue blog:

What's the best gift for an engaged couple???

<scroll scroll scroll>

MONEY!!

 Thanks, guys.

Marriage IS scary

'Til death do us part? For someone in her late-twenties, that's a scary phrase. I've already changed so much in the past ten years; how do I know who I will be in the future? Or who D. will become? I've noticed that most of my parents' friends have encountered, at some point in their marriage, at least one terrible trial: cancer, the sudden loss of a loved one, financial disappointment, a child turning out very differently than had been hoped. How will we handle it, when something bad inevitably happens?

That's why I love hearing about couples who have lasted decades. I'm fortunate to have many examples in my own family to imitate. And the NYTimes Vows column sometimes includes a "State of the Union" update on previously featured couples. This week's column looks back at couples who married when the column was still new. One couple shared the following advice:

How do they stay so happy? “If I were to boil it down to one thing, Susan stayed nice and I stayed funny,” Mr. Parent said. “If you can stay kind and keep a sense of humor, man, you can get through anything.” 

Funny I'm not too worried about. But NICE?? Well, just as I'm hoping not to turn into a Bridezilla over the next year, I'm going to work on not transmogrifying into a shrew of a wife. Wish me luck!

(Hilariously, the file name for this image is "hissy-shrew," and the caption reads, in part, "Shrews will stop at nothing to defend their precious food supply...All that gorging leads straight to an early grave." Sounds about right?)

Strapless can be scary

It looks like my first real post is going to be about wedding dresses. <sigh> How is it that wedding dresses come in truly infinite variety, yet they all end up looking the same? All of my married friends were lovely brides, and I cared very much about their weddings. Most of their wedding dresses were completely unmemorable. Ummm...white? strapless? some embellishments?

Variation in neckline and silhouette will not remedy this problem entirely, but I do think this Slate article points the way forward. And many thanks are due to Kate Middleton's lovely dress, which will shape a generation's idea of a glamorous wedding. I'm unlikely to choose a similar style, but it's hard to argue with more options for all!

(Getty images)

Hello!

Welcome to "an academic bride"! My wonderful fiancé, D., and I got engaged on May 7, 2012. It's going to be a busy year ahead, what with teaching, completing my Ph.D., conducting an academic job search in the humanities, and planning a wedding. I hope that this blog will give me an outlet for my plans, anxieties, and happy finds – and also serve as a record of this very special year. Ready, set, go!