The time has come (the Walrus said). After all of this hullabaloo, I have three tenure-track offers in front of me, and three more days to make up my mind. This is far more than I ever hoped or dreamed for myself this year (or possibly ever!), and I feel unprepared to make the decision. Just six months ago, I was considering leaving the field in the event that the job market just didn't pan out for me. The suggestion conjured an entirely different world and future for me and Dave, one which can be set aside for now. Now I have to contemplate what it really means to start a tenure-track job at a specific place in August – can I get tenure? will I start having children before tenure, and where do I want them to grow up? where can I get the best mentoring, so that I can grow and thrive in my research and teaching? which institution has the best support for what I want to accomplish with my career? and perhaps most importantly, can Dave come with me?
It's been a hard week. I received an offer that I would dearly love to take – I fell in love with the department, my future colleagues, and the rosy vision of the life I would have there. The catch: no job for Dave now, and it seems unlikely he would find one there in the future. How can I take a position in a place, knowing that my husband can't join me there? What if I find it difficult to "trade up," as it were, and find myself "trapped" in a wonderful job, but alone? Tradeoffs, compromises, meeting in the middle. All I can say is: marriage – it's not for the faint of heart.
I'll have an update in a few days. In the meantime, I'm trying to shed the burden of anxiety I've been carrying for weeks. Today I got my haircut at a new salon. In the blank after "Occupation:", I finally dared to write "Professor."
It's been a hard week. I received an offer that I would dearly love to take – I fell in love with the department, my future colleagues, and the rosy vision of the life I would have there. The catch: no job for Dave now, and it seems unlikely he would find one there in the future. How can I take a position in a place, knowing that my husband can't join me there? What if I find it difficult to "trade up," as it were, and find myself "trapped" in a wonderful job, but alone? Tradeoffs, compromises, meeting in the middle. All I can say is: marriage – it's not for the faint of heart.
I'll have an update in a few days. In the meantime, I'm trying to shed the burden of anxiety I've been carrying for weeks. Today I got my haircut at a new salon. In the blank after "Occupation:", I finally dared to write "Professor."
oh Katie, this post literally brought tears to my eyes!! i know you're anxious about the decision (decision decision), but think of what an amazing accomplishment it is to be where you are! all those years of wondering, "will i ever make it? is all this prep for a career i won't have?" and LOOK AT YOU NOW! three offers!! YOU DID IT!!! i'm doing the boogie!
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of you honey!!! Whoaaaa....we're halfway there.. :)
ReplyDeleteyou're living the dream... the BEST CLASSICS PROFESSOR IN THE WORLD!
ReplyDeleteit's taking a lot out of you, but you're making it! you'll look back at all of this, and smile, even knowing how hard it was... there are so many beautiful and exciting things up ahead!