Winter is here

The Michigan winter can be brutal, and we've been very fortunate the past two years, when we enjoyed mild weather. So far, the winter hasn't been too bad, but since returning from Christmas break, I've definitely felt a shift in temperature! We're now past the stage of cute hats and cozy sweaters. This is real winter. Some signs:

-my doormat is covered with a variety of slushy boots
-white salty streaks magically appear on all of my clothes
-I can hear the disconcerting whirr of cars' spinning wheels on the streets below from my desk
-I have ice on the interior of my car's windshield from the frozen condensation of my breath
-I'm getting reacquainted with my car's low-gear setting

Dave always says that the harsh winter provides incentive to get a lot of work done. So I'll make some hot chocolate and settle in to do some serious interview research. Stay warm, everyone!

success?

I can't believe I survived this semester! Looking back, I can now see how hybristic it was to attempt to accomplish so many things at once. And yet, things seem to have worked out. My dissertation only requires modest revisions before deposit; I have opportunities to discuss my work and teaching with search committees; aside from a few students who are angry at not being awarded an A just for showing up, my students seem to have enjoyed our class; the wedding will happen.

Victory! ...right? Yesterday was the first day I could wake up not feeling completely overwhelmed by the tasks awaiting me that day. And so it became the first day on which I could survey the costs of this kind of lifestyle. I gave up a lot of things I love this semester: singing, cooking, exercising (not that I exactly love it), keeping up with friends, reading fiction, leisure time, personal grooming, sleep. I needed all that time and mental energy to focus on myself and getting myself through each day. In fact, all I did was think about myself.

Turns out that utter self-absorption is not good for a relationship! Dave has been extremely generous and supportive this whole time – he has made me gifts, written me notes, and cared for me so many times. And while I appreciated each act and expressed that to him, I never returned the favor and made him feel cared for and beloved in the ways that he likes. We are very different, which is usually a good thing, but sometimes that means communicating our care for each other requires extra effort. I simply did not have the energy to take that extra step and think about what would make him feel especially cherished or known.

Fortunately, the time in my life of crying about my dissertation is over. But from all indications, the first year or two as a faculty member is even worse than any period in graduate school. In the Humanities, we talk all the time about how studying literature is supposed to help teach us lessons about life and relationships. Funny how a significant part of my dissertation is about the corrosive effects of individual heroism on the home: the very process of heroic success – victory in competition over a worthy but external enemy – is antithetical to wise rule over a stable household. So you'd think I might have been more aware...but no. So here's the challenge: how can we accomplish everything on our to-do lists, while still nurturing and protecting our future marriage? A new year, a fresh start begins soon. Let's see how we do!

Operation WOOF

You astute readers of this blog may recall the summer evening when I met TUCK for the first time. I instantly fell in love with this friendly, curious, yet dignified terrier, and Dave and I have talked about him endlessly since. Sarah B. and her husband are family friends with Tuck's owners, so they have special access to him! Sarah B. – ever attentive, thoughtful, and creative – came up with the best idea for a post-dissertation reward, code-named "Operation Woof." Here's how it played out:

I called Dave after I finished my final meeting for the instructors of my course this afternoon. I was stressed out because I needed to re-grade some final exams to be more in line with the other instructors, finish calculating and then post final grades, etc. But Dave insisted (unusually) that he wanted to come over and hang out later in the afternoon. I can't even remember the last time we spent an afternoon at home, just hanging out. Early September? Late August? So I knew something was up...

But how could I possibly have predicted that when I opened the door at 4:30 pm, on my doorstep I would find this furry friend??

Tuck snuffed his way around the apartment, and then submitted to aggressive petting, hugging, playing, and belly-rubbing. He didn't seem to mind. We even went for a walk in the park before it got dark. Oh Tuck, you are the best dog! I can't tell whether this is too weird to share, but we took a "family photo" together with Tuck (someone else's dog) and Floyd (not-a-real-dog):

Someday, when we have our own kids, we'll laugh about this, I'm sure!

Tuck was only on loan, unfortunately, so we took him back home before dinner, where I tried to ingratiate myself with his owners. Until next time, Tuck. In the meantime, I'm going to savor Tuck's de-stressing effects and remain thankful for such a thoughtful friend!

you can call me doctor (but not *that* kind of doctor)

It's official: I defended my dissertation on Friday morning! Though I still need to deposit a final version in January and graduate in May, I can start calling myself Doctor. But to distinguish myself from my father and brother(s), I've decided I should be:

Dave had these balloons and flowers waiting for me in my apartment when I returned home after the defense! He is so thoughtful. =)


But I get ahead of myself. The defense itself was quite different from what I had expected. I had stayed up late the night before, cursing myself for not having reviewed the fragments of lost archaic epics about Heracles or including certain works on my bibliography. The morning of, I frantically repeated my various spiels to myself as I walked to the department, and almost got hit by careless drivers – twice! The gods were not looking favorably upon me. The four members of my committee met without me for the first fifteen minutes, to determine the shape of the defense, while I paced the hallway in my clicking heels. The committee invited me into the room, and my advisor immediately put me at ease by opening with, "We'd like to discuss how to turn this dissertation into the book." VICTORY!

The next hour and fifteen minutes were devoted to pushing and pulling at my ideas in the dissertation. The committee suggested that I combine two analyses into one, pointed out weaknesses in my discussions, and helped me think through how I will reframe the study for the future (think: violence theory). I won't pretend that I was comfortable, but there's something deeply enjoyable about having four terrific scholars arguing about your work with you. The discussion descended into complaints about certain aspects of the administration of the graduate program, at which point I think the defense was over. ;) The committee shooed me away, and I clicked through the halls again. This time, they invited me back into the room with smiles and handshakes and congratulations. Everyone was packing up to leave, so I had to whisper to my advisor: "Ummm, are we going to talk about revisions?" She said she'd email the committee's comments to me, but that she expects them to be "modest." RELIEF.

I still don't truly believe that I've complete the dissertation and will receive my PhD from this program. There were just so many times over the years when I truly, deeply believed that I should withdraw and find something else to do. But here I am, with a dissertation one of my advisors even said I "should be very proud of." He has never said anything of the sort to me before, so maybe he even meant it! I feel intensely grateful for so many things. My support group has always been there for me – my family and dear friends, who have heard me agonize and cry and despair so many times, and always reassured me that things will work out. Without Dave, I'm not sure I would've made it this far; he always gives me courage and steadiness for the task at hand.

But these things come as no surprise. What does surprise me is the appreciation I felt for my committee and department: scholars who have (loosely) shepherded and guided me from a barely-not-an-undergraduate to someone who could be an assistant professor at a major research institution. I may never become that assistant professor, of course, depending on the job market, but I'm still a bit in shock that the possibility is there. It's also strange to realize that my time at this institution is likely drawing to a close, and I must be ready to move on. To that end, I better get back to grading these final exams and preparing for my job interviews...

so you want a PhD in the humanities?

Everyone who knows me also knows that I have had my doubts about graduate school. It's been a long road, and even as I come to the finish line, I have deeply mixed feelings about the experience. Of course, if I get a wonderful tenure-track job at a place where Dave can also do his research, fantastic! Everyone should get a PhD! It always works out in the end! If I end up scrambling on the VAP/adjunct circuit for the next five to eight years and miss my fertility window? Well, I'll be wearing my bitter pants every day. Clearly, this is an oversimplification, and I choose to believe that I have some measure of control over my destiny. And yet.

Before I came to graduate school, this is how I pictured my life would be:

Beautiful libraries! Big artsy glasses! Contented smiles that go along with the acquisition of both knowledge and wisdom!

There's some truth to that vision (I love the things I've studied; I've acquired a number of beautiful books; my eyesight continually deteriorates, to the extent that I realized last week I should not be driving at night with my glasses, which seriously need an updated prescription). Perhaps equally distorted is the vision offered by reading the Classics job market blog. It is not for the faint of heart (or stomach). A recent conversation in the comments looked like this (warning: strong language):

Anonymous said...
Does anyone know of any job anywhere doing anything for any amount of money I could fucking get with this worthless, piece of shit Classics PhD?

December 7, 2012 6:18 PM

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know of any job anywhere doing anything for any amount of money I could fucking get with this worthless, piece of shit Classics PhD?

Sorry, a lot of us are asking that question. And the answer is -- no, not really.

December 7, 2012 7:04 PM

Anonymous said...

I'm finding that even for minimum wage jobs I have to explain what I've been doing for work in the last few years. There doesn't seem to be any way around that.

And the minute you mention getting a PhD they think you are lying, making fun of them, or that there is something seriously wrong with you. No matter what, you don't get the fucking job.

December 7, 2012 7:29 PM

Anonymous said...

This is a big problem. It's not limited to classics. A good resource, in case anyone's actually interested is
http://versatilephd.com/

December 7, 2012 7:57 PM

Fallen Classicist said...

No. Don't be tempted by versitile phd and the like. Do not think that there are jobs out there for PhDs in classics. Or, better, don't count on it. And do not spend this time of the year thinking about it.

With a PhD in classics you are most qualified to be a classics professor. Not a banker. Not a spy. Not a management consultant. A classicist. The job market is predictable and people actually get jobs. Not as many as we all would like, but still.

There is nothing predictable about a job search outside of classics. There are opportunities out there. Some, certainly, are more lucrative than classics. As noted, I have a classics PhD, and am now working in an entirely different field.

But if your goal is employment, any employment, your best chance is in classics. And the time before the APA is not to be spent wondering what else might be possible. Do that AFTER the APA. Spend your time preparing for interviews, tailoring your letters, and the like.

Now, if you have decided that classics was a mistake and you want to move on, by all means, explore your options, but also give classics a second look. For all its faults, you have trained for it and are qualified for it.

December 7, 2012 8:19 PM

Anonymous said...

Fallen, remember that only 13% of qualified applicants are getting a tenure-track job in Classics each year (on average since 2008). Less than 30% are getting any job at all, including VAPs without benefits, for that same range of time.

And most of us don't have any interviews to prepare for. We're just paying hundreds of dollars we don't have to go to the APA and have cocksuckers like that HC bitch laugh at us under their breath.

December 7, 2012 8:42 PM

 

Anonymous said...

Death is, of course, the best option. Dead people don't even need jobs. But I'm too much of a fucking coward. Seneca is probably rolling over in his grave.

December 7, 2012 10:53 PM

This is almost certainly the naïvete of the first-time job-seeker, but I'm truly planning on not becoming one of these commenters. Before that happens, please, please help me leave the field (though apparently my PhD really is best put to use in the very field that rejects my qualifications), help me leave the work force, whatever it takes! ;) This year I have multiple interviews, so there's still a breath of hope in these sails. I do want to make it in this field, and I'm getting some encouraging signals! But we'll see how I do in January, when the interviews are done, and I stare in vain at the waning battery icon of my cell phone.

The DRESS

The DRESS has been found! I am happy to announce that we ordered the wedding dress today! Sarah B. and I went shopping on Sunday at a new little place in Saline, called White Arbor Bridal. The first dress I tried on was just what I was looking for. SO PLEASED. It will still take a few months to come in, but there should be just enough time to get the dress altered to my liking. I went to the seamstress today to plan for alterations and everything. HURRAY! I'm excited, and also relieved to have one big thing crossed off the list. On to the next...

This is NOT the dress (and not at all similar to the dress), but I wanted to include a picture from the expedition. Here I am in a Pippa-Middleton-knockoff dress. Because who doesn't enjoy pretending to be sister-in-law to the heir to the throne of England? Hehee!

anatomy of a let-down

As all regular readers of this blog are aware, yesterday was the day I submitted the final draft of my dissertation to my committee, ten working days in advance of the actual defense on 14 December. Some of my readers are too aware, having graciously copy-edited dozens of pages for me at the last minute (Julie, Katie, Shuen) or created professional-looking images to replace my crude, preschool-level diagrams (Sarah B.)! I'd like to take a moment to brag: who could ask for a better team? I'm pretty sure most people don't have best friends who are superb writers and editors, send encouraging emails and flowers, and keep track of all the important milestones. I can't believe how fortunate I am. My cousin Ruth emailed me an adorable picture of Apphia every night for the past week; Dave cooked me dinner at home and then brought it to the department, so I wouldn't have to interrupt my work; Brianne delivered freshly baked cookies; everyone was patient with me. Whether from across the world or across the street, I've felt so supported and encouraged by you all! Thank you.

So I'm surprised I don't feel better about this whole situation, now that it's over. Even though the frenzy and concentration is over for now, I don't quite feel relieved or excited. It turns out that it was merely a moment of emotional significance for me, one that doesn't actually change anything. I feel disappointed that my dissertation didn't accomplish all I had hoped for, and at this point, all I see are the things I should've done differently two years ago. Yesterday afternoon, I spent hours wrestling with a printer that would jam every 20 pages (on a document that's 278 pages long), and then a photocopier that kept getting confused until it just plain gave up. And after all that work of perfecting the formatting and eliminating typos, I ended up sending an electronic copy in Word format to my advisor that didn't match the PDF and has continuous footnoting. (Curse you, Openoffice!) And of course, none of my committee members is happy to receive this mammoth and have to read it. By the end of the afternoon, I was just upset.

I'm sure I'll feel better after a couple days of SLEEP and easing back into the rest of my life. I took a first step last night: taking out the trash (all of my trash cans were overflowing! disgusting!). After taking Dave to the airport early this morning, I've been spending all day grading drafts and applying to jobs. Some things don't change, I suppose. In the meantime, it's time to consider what I want to add back into my life, now that I've stripped away everything that wasn't the dissertation. One definite priority: spending time with the family and friends who have been so good to me! I'm going to have to adjust to not being the needy, selfish one, for once... ;)

a Thanksgiving memory

As frivolous as it was for me to take two nights and go home for Thanksgiving last week, I'm glad I did it. I can hardly believe it was just a few days ago! But I'm quite certain I would've been too depressed and discouraged to be very productive in Ann Arbor if I had stayed; moreover, I did grade all my papers and complete this week's teaching prep while home, so this week, it's all dissertation, all the time! I only have four more days, so I don't have much choice. Waaaah!

Before I put my head down again to revise my last main chapter, I wanted to share a photo that my talented cousin Ruth captured and then emailed me last night. 

My niece, the Florette, is getting so big! She is wincing after I gave her a kiss on the cheek. She better start getting used to my affection! <hands on hips>

D.I.Y. Standing Desk

Being a graduate student is dangerous work. For example, your lifestyle is so sedentary that you may develop severe pain in your hips, lower back, and shoulder and neck areas. Also, this lifestyle will apparently kill you. Recent headlines*:

Is Sitting a Lethal Activity? (NYT)
Your Office Chair is Killing You (BusinessWeek)
How to Stop Your Office Chair from Killing You (Forbes)
How Sitting All Day is Damaging Your Body and How You Can Counteract It (Lifehacker)

The solution probably includes regular exercise, more intentional activity, less laziness. But what to do if you've sworn off exercise until your dissertation is due, despite your persistent and distracting pain? People seem to be pretty excited about the "standing desk." I've seen one or two while walking past the philosophy offices, and they look pretty convenient. But they're also expensive, and though there are some plausible D.I.Y. set-ups described on the internet, I have neither the time nor the space in my studio to construct one.

Good thing that I already have one!

Turns out that all you need is a baker's rack from the Flower (a gift to me when she moved in with the Fat), and a GIANT Cuisinart toaster oven! While I still sit to do most of my writing and editing, I like to grade papers with this arrangement. Here's hoping this keeps my body from completely falling apart in the next month.


*Apparently even on my blog, I can't resist creating a select bibliography.

Who has the best friends? I do!, Vol. II

I posted earlier about how lucky I am to have such wonderful friends. One of the silver linings I've discovered about going through this challenging period of stress, self-doubt, and deadlines is that the abundant love and support of my friends and family have become even more obvious. I'm so glad that I don't have to do this alone! Sarah B. has been staying up-to-date on all of my milestones and bringing dinners and treats to my place. Julie and Katie are the ultimate cheerleaders, always helping me stay positive and offering their encouragements (not to mention Julie's help on my cover letters!). The Fat and the Flower text me adorable pictures of the Florette every day. My mom sent me home in October with so much food that I'm still working through my freezer – no sad eating for me! Dave doesn't yell at me when I yell at him. He's the best!

I was prompted to write down and share these reflections because of a surprise gift today from Shuen:

That's right: flowers, teddy bear, AND candy! It's like Valentine's Day with a new boyfriend! Seriously, though, I feel so loved. And her timing is perfect: today marks the beginning of the final push. I met with my advisor for what appears to be the last time before I turn in the dissertation to the committee on November 30th. To the finish line!

Restless Floyd Syndrome

Before I left for Greece, Dave gave me a present: a small stuffed dog, white and black, whom we christened Floyd. During my year abroad, Floyd traveled everywhere with me – Greece, Turkey, the islands. He has become something of the mascot of our relationship. He's starting to become a bit worn out, but that's only proper, I suppose, because of how well-loved he is! He reminds me of the Velveteen Rabbit in that way.

This is Floyd's second (and much more elaborate) stop-action movie! Dave is the screenwriter, director, cinematographer, producer, and second grip of this 2012 independent film. I'm just the muse! ;) I hope you enjoy:

Frazzled Fraggle

It's all starting to catch up to me, and I'm becoming extremely frazzled. As of today, I have exactly three weeks to revise my dissertation and get it to my committee before the defense! I plan to send off the introduction by tomorrow, but I expect that to require a lot of revisions once I get feedback. Urgh. The good news is that "frazzled" sounds kind of like "fraggle." Try saying "frazzled fraggle" three times fast! At least it will make you smile.

Here's a fearful fraggle:

Now...what cute thing sounds like "frantic"? Because I'm pretty sure that's how I'll be feeling next week!

Love, a poem by George Herbert

Last week was truly awful, and I have nothing good to say about it. So instead, I'll post this 17th-century poem about love!

An old friend shared it with me a long time ago, but I found myself considering it more carefully recently. In addition to its clear Christian meaning, I think it illuminates the abundance and generosity of true romantic love as well. Don't love and feasting make a great pair? Or am I just thinking this way because Dave has been making me dinner more often?? =) (*Correction: Sarah B. has also been making me delicious dinners! More love!)

LOVE bade me welcome; yet my soul drew back,
     Guilty of dust and sin.
But quick-eyed Love, observing me grow slack
     From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning           5
     If I lack'd anything.

'A guest,' I answer'd, 'worthy to be here:'
    Love said, 'You shall be he.'
'I, the unkind, ungrateful? Ah, my dear,
     I cannot look on Thee.'     10
Love took my hand and smiling did reply,
     'Who made the eyes but I?'

'Truth, Lord; but I have marr'd them: let my shame
     Go where it doth deserve.'
'And know you not,' says Love, 'Who bore the blame?'      15
     'My dear, then I will serve.'
'You must sit down,' says Love, 'and taste my meat.'
     So I did sit and eat.

http://www.bartleby.com/101/286.html 

a bit of good news

Last night, I found out that my abstract had been accepted to a conference in the UK! Amid all the uncertainty and anticipated rejections of the job market, it's nice to get a little affirmation (nevermind the fact that I suspect all proposed abstracts were accepted). It's a conference entirely focused on the reception of Heracles/Hercules in the post-classical world. There will be talks about Hercules in early Christian theology, opera, the Renaissance, Victorian Britain, etc. My topic is less highbrow, I must admit: I'll be giving a paper about Disney's Hercules!

I haven't done much work with modern reception, but I've been hoping to get into it, so here's my chance. I hadn't seen the movie in years, until my family reunion this summer, when I watched it with my cousins! So all of that hard work is finally paying off. ;) I'm looking forward to many of the papers, and there are several seniors scholars attending whom I hope to connect with.

The conference is in Leeds in June – maybe a European honeymoon is in the works for us? My last international conference was three years ago, in Argentina. The Fat accompanied me, and we had many adventures – visiting Iguazu falls, getting our palms licked by giraffes at the zoo, eating the most delicious grass-fed beef, hanging out (weirdly) with people from our high school. I can only hope that this next conference will be as memorable!

T-rex, take 2

My friend Joe recently directed me to the tumblr "T-Rex Trying..." I apparently never get tired of the short-T-rex-arms joke! I hope you don't either:

Infantilized

One of the big complaints about graduate school is that it is infantilizing. At this point in your parents' life, they had careers, a house, 3 children, etc., and your peers are accomplishing those things, too. You feel you have little control over your future, but are instead subject to the whims of much more powerful (but unaccountable) senior faculty. You are still procrastinating in your yoga pants, like you did in college. You have neither the stability nor the financial resources to do things you might really crave, like starting a family, living in a big-enough apartment (don't even think about a house), replacing your holey socks. Of course, one can combat this feeling by deciding to live like a "real" adult – showing up at the department from 9-5 in professional clothes, taking responsibility for time management and students – but mainly, you end up avoiding your friends with careers because they make you feel embarrassed about your own life. This email I just received doesn't help:

Undergraduates at the University of Michigan:

It is beyond important to make sure that you are fulfilling your fruit and vegetable needs throughout the day, in order to prevent and protect against illness (especially during midterm crunch time!).  Please take this survey to help us analyze the availability and convenience of purchasing fruits and vegetables at stores in the areas that you most often buy snacks during the day (State Street, South University, etc.).

CLEARLY I AM NOT AN ADULT. 

The Odyssey on Marriage

In my Great Books class, we just finished reading selections from the Hebrew Bible and are now getting started on the Odyssey. Funny how none of the marriages of the Jewish patriarchs have inspired me with hopeful visions for my own upcoming marriage! What a relief, then to leave behind those abysmally dysfunctional relationships and turn to the Odyssey. Odysseus and Penelope have far from a perfect marriage, and there's plenty to criticize, but I have always loved Odysseus' wish for Nausicaa in Book 6:

"And may the good gods give you all your heart desires:
husband, and house, and lasting harmony too.
No finer, greater gift in the world than that...
when man and woman possess their home, two minds,
two hearts that work as one. Despair to their enemies,
a joy to all their friends. Their own best claim to glory." (Fagles' translation)

Odysseus has experienced every glory of the battlefield and every victory of the intellect, and yet he defines the greatest gift in the world as marital harmony. Love it!

Time to bring down the hammer

on myself! I am so nervous about writing my introduction well that I've been madly procrastinating on doing it. We all know what a formula for success that is. In the past two nights, I have spent at least an hour stalking the Facebook profiles of people I don't even know. This is really, truly scraping the bottom.

I have a pet peeve about people (looking at all you graduate students out there) who spend all day complaining about how stressed they are and how much work they have to do and how overwhelming it all is instead of just sitting down and doing it. So between now and my dissertation defense day, I am off Facebook. I deleted my account, and I'm going to try to stick to it. I will definitely miss certain things about it, but I think I can live without them for the next two months (LESS! EEPS!). I'm sure I will find other ways to procrastinate, but this can be one form of discipline. Hold me to it!

the Church

Lo, a church for our wedding ceremony has been found! It is located within 20 minutes of the Trump, large enough, available on a Sunday, has a parking lot, allows us to bring our own pastor, and is open to rental by non-members! Phew! It was harder to find a place that checked all of those boxes than we had initially expected, and we had started to get stressed about it. It is also beautiful:

It feels more intimate than it looks from the picture. It is also at the center of a charming New Jersey town (uh, how often do I say that?), which has a DINOSAUR STATUE DOWN THE BLOCK! Meet the local Hadrosaurus, everyone:

I can't believe Dave didn't tell me that my legs were positioned wrong for this picture. At any rate, we felt that "everything came together" at this church. We had tried to visit it on Sunday, but it was locked! When we returned on Monday, it was cool and drizzly (like the day of our engagement); the carillon was playing a hymn (like at the moment of our engagement); we visited a dinosaur (like after our engagement); and afterwards we ate curry chicken salad sandwiches (like our engagement picnic). So I suppose it was meant to be!

Now, the huge drawback of this church: no air conditioning. So let's also hope for cool weather and no heat waves in late May 2013! The back windows do open and they have a lot of fans, and we won't have an extremely long ceremony, so we think that it will all work out okay. At least we're not planning an outdoor ceremony, right?

Dry T-Shirt Contest

Dave made what I consider to be an ill-advised purchase last weekend, while he was Up North with his parents. But it's too late now! The real question is: who wears it better?? Please register your vote in the comments section below. Do it now.

For your information, this may or may not be a preview of my Halloween costume this year.

a surprise guest

I have an unexpected overnight guest tonight. Dear friends, meet "Cat":

"Cat" was wandering outside my apartment building. It is the coldest night of the year so far – windy, rainy. "Cat" looked miserable! "Cat" also is de-clawed, well-groomed, obviously unafraid of people. "Cat" even has a tag with a Michigan Humane Society ID number on it. After she was meowing plaintively and trying to follow me inside my door, how could I turn her away?

As a side note, a cyclist was hit by a car outside my window just two nights ago, occasioning my very first 911 call. (It took 90 seconds for the dispatcher to pick up, which does not inspire confidence for the future.) The motorists stopped their car and immediately got out to help, but it didn't look great: the cyclist lay in the crosswalk until the ambulance, police, and firemen carted her away. I've been feeling nervous about crossing the street ever since! And no one likes to see household pets flattened on the pavement...

So "Cat" is spending the night with me, until I can drop her off at the Humane Society in the morning. With the help of her ID, the Humane Society should be able to match her with her proper owners. In the meantime, I'll try to enjoy the company. Dave is allergic to cats, so this might be my only chance!

I warned "Cat" not to get too comfortable, but she seems strangely unperturbed:

Goodnight, "Cat"! Please try to relieve yourself in the makeshift litterbox I put together for you with dirt and mulch I stole from the planters outside.

Saturday morning pick-me-up

I'm settling in for a weekend full of productivity (thesis introduction! course development! research proposal! teaching prep!), and it's best to start with a smile, no?

Poor T-rex! We finally figured it out that you don't drag your tail on the ground, but use it to counterbalance your leaning forward. But we STILL don't understand those tiny little arms!

Just hanging around...

This hasn't exactly been the best week. In fact, it's been full of tears. There have been the dissertation-tears, job-application-tears, advisor-tears, I'm-a-mediocre-scholar-tears, I-have-no-money-tears (don't worry, Mom: I'm getting paid on Friday), wah wah wah. But, Sarah B. came to the rescue, bearing watermelon (and you all know how much I love watermelon) and delicious casserole. She also sent me this encouragement yesterday:

"hope you are HANGING IN THERE very strongly - or at least surefootedly (my vision here is sloth.  preferably 3 toed)."

!!! Hanging in there like a three-toed sloth!

Aww, what a great little sloth! Looking so secure and content. Was Sarah already aware of my long-time affection for the sloth? This picture was taken at the San Diego Zoo in September 2010, in the "prehistoric animals" section:

And just because it's so darn cute, here's a baby one:

Who has the best friends? I do!

It's been a busy week. But just when I started to feel frantic and overwhelmed, I got the following encouragement from Julie! Isn't she the best?? I couldn't keep it to myself. Enjoy!




So you're trying to think of how to rework your dissertation...

And you have an idea!

And you're like...

But after 50 pages you're like....

And you chug through a few more chapters and you're like...

But you keep going! Go, Katie, GO!!!!!

And then... at last..... you are DONE! You are done with the dissertation!

You feel more confident about your skills and your job prospects, and you're like...

...before you start freaking out again and you're like...

But you try to put on a brave face...

And wait to hear back...

And it's a rejection. But it's just your first one so you just go...

Then you get a few more and it's more like...

But then! An awesome opportunity! THEY GOT IN TOUCH WITH YOU! And you're like...

And at the interview you try to look professional and not *too* excited...

And afterwards you're like...

And...

But GUESS WHAT!

It's an offer! You have an offer! And you feel like...

And...

And...

And...

And then you wonder, are you really ready to be a professor? Well, you may not do everything right at first...

And it's back to...

But you're done! You're really really done! Now you can be like this guy...

And you're like... can I just please please please get back to my wedding planning now?

You've made it! You help people understand literature and language!

And yeah, that feels good.

And now, time to think of more ways to use Disney in your papers...