One of the big complaints about graduate school is that it is infantilizing. At this point in your parents' life, they had careers, a house, 3 children, etc., and your peers are accomplishing those things, too. You feel you have little control over your future, but are instead subject to the whims of much more powerful (but unaccountable) senior faculty. You are still procrastinating in your yoga pants, like you did in college. You have neither the stability nor the financial resources to do things you might really crave, like starting a family, living in a big-enough apartment (don't even think about a house), replacing your holey socks. Of course, one can combat this feeling by deciding to live like a "real" adult – showing up at the department from 9-5 in professional clothes, taking responsibility for time management and students – but mainly, you end up avoiding your friends with careers because they make you feel embarrassed about your own life. This email I just received doesn't help:
Undergraduates at the University of Michigan:CLEARLY I AM NOT AN ADULT.
It is beyond important to make sure that you are fulfilling your fruit and vegetable needs throughout the day, in order to prevent and protect against illness (especially during midterm crunch time!). Please take this survey to help us analyze the availability and convenience of purchasing fruits and vegetables at stores in the areas that you most often buy snacks during the day (State Street, South University, etc.).
Right... because the only reason some people don't enough fruits/vegetables is AVAILABILITY. Let's blame nearby stores for your own lack of motivation and laziness! Haha.
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking this morning that I have two big holes in my black leggings but that they're hidden by my right shoe and my skirt, so that it really wasn't worth it to buy a new pair... but I think it's a mark of "real" adulthood to be practical and to reassess your definition of "need"-- my 16-year-old self would have flat-out refused to put those leggings on and insisted on finding money I didn't have!
p.s. not one of your labels is about your friends! you know, like "awesome friends" or "best of the best" etc. how can you get through one dissertation one job search one wedding one year without your amazing friends? *cough* i think you need a few to counter "i hate everything"... :)
ReplyDeletehaha, that's RIGHT! thanks for the reminder. i do have the best friends, and i am one lucky girl! =) maybe "with a little help"? and maybe i should also create a label for "gratitude"...
DeleteA new blog template! Very serene. Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and so is meh-widge! That (the latter) is one huge step towards feeling like a real adult. Although, living near/with your parents somehow makes me feel like a kid again, even though I have a kid. I'd say that being fed constantly is infantilizing, if anything. ;)
ReplyDeleteOh, and don't feel infantilized by the university until they start talking about your bowel movements. - From someone who knows infants, or at least a very sweet and dynamic one. :)
Deleteoh geez, i really hope the university will never send a mass email about my bowel movements...
DeleteI guess you weren't at Princeton post-Hurricane Floyd (ah, the memories), when an email from a dean (Malkiel, perhaps?) included the phrase, "if it's brown, flush it down, if it's yellow, let it mellow."
DeleteHilarious. That said, I do remember our using the term "bozos" in referencing the oh-so-immature undergrads when at UMich and just out of undergrad ourselves. That judgyness (sp?) may or may not have been justified, but I'm pretty sure there's a notable difference between you and them at this point! (Now were there people we knew at Princeton - like those Spelman guys who threw a slab of beef in the oven for every meal, or those who ate hot dogs every day - to whom the question may apply? There is a possibility...) If your reaction to this were different, THEN I'd start to worry...
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