Love, a poem by George Herbert

Last week was truly awful, and I have nothing good to say about it. So instead, I'll post this 17th-century poem about love!

An old friend shared it with me a long time ago, but I found myself considering it more carefully recently. In addition to its clear Christian meaning, I think it illuminates the abundance and generosity of true romantic love as well. Don't love and feasting make a great pair? Or am I just thinking this way because Dave has been making me dinner more often?? =) (*Correction: Sarah B. has also been making me delicious dinners! More love!)

LOVE bade me welcome; yet my soul drew back,
     Guilty of dust and sin.
But quick-eyed Love, observing me grow slack
     From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning           5
     If I lack'd anything.

'A guest,' I answer'd, 'worthy to be here:'
    Love said, 'You shall be he.'
'I, the unkind, ungrateful? Ah, my dear,
     I cannot look on Thee.'     10
Love took my hand and smiling did reply,
     'Who made the eyes but I?'

'Truth, Lord; but I have marr'd them: let my shame
     Go where it doth deserve.'
'And know you not,' says Love, 'Who bore the blame?'      15
     'My dear, then I will serve.'
'You must sit down,' says Love, 'and taste my meat.'
     So I did sit and eat.

http://www.bartleby.com/101/286.html 

a bit of good news

Last night, I found out that my abstract had been accepted to a conference in the UK! Amid all the uncertainty and anticipated rejections of the job market, it's nice to get a little affirmation (nevermind the fact that I suspect all proposed abstracts were accepted). It's a conference entirely focused on the reception of Heracles/Hercules in the post-classical world. There will be talks about Hercules in early Christian theology, opera, the Renaissance, Victorian Britain, etc. My topic is less highbrow, I must admit: I'll be giving a paper about Disney's Hercules!

I haven't done much work with modern reception, but I've been hoping to get into it, so here's my chance. I hadn't seen the movie in years, until my family reunion this summer, when I watched it with my cousins! So all of that hard work is finally paying off. ;) I'm looking forward to many of the papers, and there are several seniors scholars attending whom I hope to connect with.

The conference is in Leeds in June – maybe a European honeymoon is in the works for us? My last international conference was three years ago, in Argentina. The Fat accompanied me, and we had many adventures – visiting Iguazu falls, getting our palms licked by giraffes at the zoo, eating the most delicious grass-fed beef, hanging out (weirdly) with people from our high school. I can only hope that this next conference will be as memorable!

T-rex, take 2

My friend Joe recently directed me to the tumblr "T-Rex Trying..." I apparently never get tired of the short-T-rex-arms joke! I hope you don't either:

Infantilized

One of the big complaints about graduate school is that it is infantilizing. At this point in your parents' life, they had careers, a house, 3 children, etc., and your peers are accomplishing those things, too. You feel you have little control over your future, but are instead subject to the whims of much more powerful (but unaccountable) senior faculty. You are still procrastinating in your yoga pants, like you did in college. You have neither the stability nor the financial resources to do things you might really crave, like starting a family, living in a big-enough apartment (don't even think about a house), replacing your holey socks. Of course, one can combat this feeling by deciding to live like a "real" adult – showing up at the department from 9-5 in professional clothes, taking responsibility for time management and students – but mainly, you end up avoiding your friends with careers because they make you feel embarrassed about your own life. This email I just received doesn't help:

Undergraduates at the University of Michigan:

It is beyond important to make sure that you are fulfilling your fruit and vegetable needs throughout the day, in order to prevent and protect against illness (especially during midterm crunch time!).  Please take this survey to help us analyze the availability and convenience of purchasing fruits and vegetables at stores in the areas that you most often buy snacks during the day (State Street, South University, etc.).

CLEARLY I AM NOT AN ADULT. 

The Odyssey on Marriage

In my Great Books class, we just finished reading selections from the Hebrew Bible and are now getting started on the Odyssey. Funny how none of the marriages of the Jewish patriarchs have inspired me with hopeful visions for my own upcoming marriage! What a relief, then to leave behind those abysmally dysfunctional relationships and turn to the Odyssey. Odysseus and Penelope have far from a perfect marriage, and there's plenty to criticize, but I have always loved Odysseus' wish for Nausicaa in Book 6:

"And may the good gods give you all your heart desires:
husband, and house, and lasting harmony too.
No finer, greater gift in the world than that...
when man and woman possess their home, two minds,
two hearts that work as one. Despair to their enemies,
a joy to all their friends. Their own best claim to glory." (Fagles' translation)

Odysseus has experienced every glory of the battlefield and every victory of the intellect, and yet he defines the greatest gift in the world as marital harmony. Love it!

Time to bring down the hammer

on myself! I am so nervous about writing my introduction well that I've been madly procrastinating on doing it. We all know what a formula for success that is. In the past two nights, I have spent at least an hour stalking the Facebook profiles of people I don't even know. This is really, truly scraping the bottom.

I have a pet peeve about people (looking at all you graduate students out there) who spend all day complaining about how stressed they are and how much work they have to do and how overwhelming it all is instead of just sitting down and doing it. So between now and my dissertation defense day, I am off Facebook. I deleted my account, and I'm going to try to stick to it. I will definitely miss certain things about it, but I think I can live without them for the next two months (LESS! EEPS!). I'm sure I will find other ways to procrastinate, but this can be one form of discipline. Hold me to it!

the Church

Lo, a church for our wedding ceremony has been found! It is located within 20 minutes of the Trump, large enough, available on a Sunday, has a parking lot, allows us to bring our own pastor, and is open to rental by non-members! Phew! It was harder to find a place that checked all of those boxes than we had initially expected, and we had started to get stressed about it. It is also beautiful:

It feels more intimate than it looks from the picture. It is also at the center of a charming New Jersey town (uh, how often do I say that?), which has a DINOSAUR STATUE DOWN THE BLOCK! Meet the local Hadrosaurus, everyone:

I can't believe Dave didn't tell me that my legs were positioned wrong for this picture. At any rate, we felt that "everything came together" at this church. We had tried to visit it on Sunday, but it was locked! When we returned on Monday, it was cool and drizzly (like the day of our engagement); the carillon was playing a hymn (like at the moment of our engagement); we visited a dinosaur (like after our engagement); and afterwards we ate curry chicken salad sandwiches (like our engagement picnic). So I suppose it was meant to be!

Now, the huge drawback of this church: no air conditioning. So let's also hope for cool weather and no heat waves in late May 2013! The back windows do open and they have a lot of fans, and we won't have an extremely long ceremony, so we think that it will all work out okay. At least we're not planning an outdoor ceremony, right?

Dry T-Shirt Contest

Dave made what I consider to be an ill-advised purchase last weekend, while he was Up North with his parents. But it's too late now! The real question is: who wears it better?? Please register your vote in the comments section below. Do it now.

For your information, this may or may not be a preview of my Halloween costume this year.

a surprise guest

I have an unexpected overnight guest tonight. Dear friends, meet "Cat":

"Cat" was wandering outside my apartment building. It is the coldest night of the year so far – windy, rainy. "Cat" looked miserable! "Cat" also is de-clawed, well-groomed, obviously unafraid of people. "Cat" even has a tag with a Michigan Humane Society ID number on it. After she was meowing plaintively and trying to follow me inside my door, how could I turn her away?

As a side note, a cyclist was hit by a car outside my window just two nights ago, occasioning my very first 911 call. (It took 90 seconds for the dispatcher to pick up, which does not inspire confidence for the future.) The motorists stopped their car and immediately got out to help, but it didn't look great: the cyclist lay in the crosswalk until the ambulance, police, and firemen carted her away. I've been feeling nervous about crossing the street ever since! And no one likes to see household pets flattened on the pavement...

So "Cat" is spending the night with me, until I can drop her off at the Humane Society in the morning. With the help of her ID, the Humane Society should be able to match her with her proper owners. In the meantime, I'll try to enjoy the company. Dave is allergic to cats, so this might be my only chance!

I warned "Cat" not to get too comfortable, but she seems strangely unperturbed:

Goodnight, "Cat"! Please try to relieve yourself in the makeshift litterbox I put together for you with dirt and mulch I stole from the planters outside.